2 posts tagged “fsmism”
I know you've been waiting.
So, I present...The FSM and Two Infamous Pirates!
I also wish we'd taken more pics (Michelle, my bestest friend everrrrr, took all the photos) of the FSM touching people with the noodly appendage.
Last night, as I lay in my bed, thinking of the many mysteries of the universe (the nature of man, the existence of war, the sometimes diametrical opposition of reason and emotion, why I can't seem to open a can of soda without spraying myself), I felt a sudden lifting of my spirits. I fell into a daze as TRUTHINESS slid over me, like cold noodles slithering over my skin.
I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage. How else to explain it?
For those who are blind and have not yet known the touch of the one true god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, I urge you to join me in the Pastafarian faith. He, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, created the world as we know it, for on the first day, he not only created Trees and Mountains, but also our religious leaders, the Midgits.
Why suffer from reason and scientific tomfoolery? It is absurd to believe that the world changed over millions of years, evolving from simple one celled microorganisms. No. Despite the face that this "theory of evolution" is "substantiated by observable evidence," in truth, it was the work of the great one, the FSM, he who is clothed in Pirate Clothing. Aaaar.
Not only will HE forgive your sins, HE will ENCOURAGE it. For once you join the Church, you may enter into Heaven and partake of the Beer Volcano, and perhaps view the Stripper Factory.
Let us bow our heads and pray to our Delicious Creator, he who is coated in scrumptious marinara sauce and dotted with delectable Meatballs, and hope for the conversion of all man in the ONE TRUE RELIGION of PASTAFARIANISM. R'amen.
